"Happy birthday to Kim Jong-un, the 40-year-old leader of North Korea who celebrated his birthday on January 8th! It seems like just yesterday you were ruling with an iron fist at age 30, but now you've hit the big 4-0. Here's to many more years of maintaining your hairstyle and keeping the world guessing. May your birthday be filled with lavish parades, extravagant gifts, and plenty of delicious cake (or whatever food is allowed in North Korea). Cheers to another year of being the most fascinating and enigmatic leader in the world. Make sure to blow out all 40 candles and make a wish, but be careful not to set off any missiles in the process. Happy birthday, Kim Jong-un!"